Five Minutes of Fame

Today there was an article in the Washington Post about the database I've been working on at work on and off the past few weeks. Check it out:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/28/AR2009092803862.html

This is cool because I specifically looked up and documented all of the earmark requests and campaign contributions for Senator Cochran, and now it's NEWS! Our office was really buzzing because of the publicity as well. I talked to CNN, Reuters, Huffington Post, NPR, and a few other random reporters. By "talked to" I mean I answered the phone and transferred them to someone who could really talk to them. But it was still cool.

(If the link doesn't work look it up by the title, "Defense Bill, Lauded by White House, Contains Billions in Earmarks" by R. Jeffrey Smith)

Two sayings to help you be brave

"Defeat appears to me preferable to total inaction."
-John Adams

"Go Forward"
-My superman keychain

What I Love About Fasting

Today is Fast Sunday.* Irony of ironies, Fast Sundays are anything but fast, as most of you know. Since we do not eat or drink anything for the equivalent of two meals on Fast Sundays, every minute is unnaturally long. If you listen carefully in church you’ll hear a choir of rumbling stomachs at any given moment in the congregation.

So, in light of the constant thoughts of food and hollow bellies on Fast Sunday, why do we fast? Why do we participate in something borderline masochistic on the first Sunday of every month?

The simple answer is, we weaken our bodies to strengthen our spirits. I love fasting because of (1) the reminder to pay fast offerings, (2) the opportunity to practice physical restraint in the name of something higher, and (3) the symbolic role of Christ as our Nourisher, or the Bread of Life.

Fast Offerings. Fast offerings are donations specifically to the poor or needy of the community. We choose to give the money we would have spend on two meals on Fast Sunday and donate it to the church to distribute locally and internationally. This conscientious sacrifice helps remind us every month that we have enough to give to others. We are testifying that we have enough bounty; we are content.

Fast offerings also recognize the Lord as our ultimate provider. I have food everyday. The fact that I have food and clean water sets me apart from a good portion of humankind. Committing to recognize the bounty in my life—even minimally—is something that turns my mind to those around me.

However, I could also donate money to the needy without fasting. Writing checks is not difficult. But, the personal sacrifice that I make by actually going without food consecrates my heart and mind to my donations. I am not just donating to placate my conscience. I am making a sacrifice right now, by going without food, and in the future, by going without money, to help others.

Mind Over Body. The most significant lesson I learn every month from fasting is that my spirit has power over my body. On Fast Sunday, my body needs food. My body is weakened and naturally inclined to sneaking a dorito or string cheese. However, when I fast, I choose to do so knowingly. I know that my body will be weakened, and I know that I will feel pain. I choose to fast anyway. My body wants to eat, but my mind chooses to overcome that desire. As a human, many of my actions are self-preserving and influenced by bodily needs (I need to sleep to be healthy, exercise and eat well) to keep my strength up. However, fasting reminds me every month that my actions are not controlled by my body. I choose my actions; I am not victim to natural instinct.

This reminder strengthens me. I become more confident in my ability to control and triumph over other weaknesses. If I can pass up a delectable brownie when I am extremely hungry, then I can do anything! It becomes easier to keep the law of chastity. I find myself more willing to exercise and less willing to oversleep.

The Sacrament Symbolism. The only food and water that we ingest during our fast is the bread and water of the Sacrament. Because I’m hungry, I usually try to grab the biggest piece of bread so that my stomach doesn’t howl and gargle as loudly as it can (and sometimes does) during Sacrament meeting. But I also love the symbolism that Christ is truly the Bread of Life and nourishes us always. It is to Him we owe everything. Fasting seems insignificant, compared to His sacrifice for me.


Ultimately, I enjoy fasting, not because I enjoy starving myself (I don’t), but because of the blessings for doing so. I am grateful for the opportunity to fast as a church every month.

*I understand that it might not be Fast Sunday for everyone, but we have stake conference the week after general conference, so there you go.

A look inside the mind of a typical Washingtonian (as observed by me--a reliable witness and diligent student of human behavior)

If you're only on the metro escalator for a minute, you don't notice. But if you're emerging from the depths of the earth where some of the trains operate (cough cough red line cough cough), and you have to entertain yourself to avoid falling asleep before reaching ground level, you notice that your hand is slowly moving away from your body.

And, since it's a new-fangled-moving-staircase escalator machine (and you are still disoriented from the metro ride), it takes you a moment to figure out what the problem is, regardless of how many college degrees you have.

Am I getting an ear infection? Is my sense of balance off? Am I still dizzy from the train and simply imagining my hand is getting away from me? Is my hand self-aware? Audaciously trying to escape from my body in broad daylight, ninja-like?

After staring at your hand for several moments as it continues to stretch away from you, it hits you:

The moving railing of the escalator to get on the metro is moving ever-so-slightly faster than the actual escalator.

Ha! The triumph of a logical solution! Yes! That is the solution to your spatial disorientation for the past 30 seconds! A wave of self-satisfaction washes over you. But, as quickly as it came, another thought hits you:

Why in the world can't the escalator keep up with the handrail?! I mean, I would have been able to think about the mini cilantro dumplings waiting for me at home for at least 30 more seconds...sigh.

How annoying.

Homeless

I did it. I gave in.

There was a man outside Trader Joes selling a newspaper called "Street Sense" for $1. He asked every person if they could spare a dollar for the homeless and when they avoided eye contact or just ignored him completely, he would still say thank you, in a non-bitter way.

So, I gave him a dollar. I had just finished buying food, for goodness' sakes, the least I could do was give a dollar.

Random Observations Concerning Work

• A particularly entertaining earmark I came across at work today..."The Operating Room of the Future"

• I came across an earmark destined for none other than Socorro, New Mexico! Say hi to the $2 mil we sent there, Paul!

• I saw that Hackensack is an actual town in New Jersey! (An unintended consequence: I had "Movin' Out" stuck in my head for three hours.)

• I came across a company called "Moog Inc. - FloTork." You can't make up a more ridiculous name.

• I sat in on a quarterly planning meeting today and figured out how non-profits work: proposals, grants, and results. And the cycle never ends, by the time you find out if you got a grant or not, you have to start writing a proposal to apply for the next year.

• Sometimes we put C-SPAN on in the background at work, and today the woman taking votes sounded just like Katharine Hepburn! It was strangely comforting...

Doing the Washington Walk

People walk quickly here.

Even if you're just walking to the washroom, you need to walk with purpose.

This might be partly because time in transit is time wasted. The sooner you get to your destination the sooner you can get on with your life/your goals/your dreams.

Don't know where you're going? You'd better figure it out, because the people behind you do know where they're going and they are not going to slow up for you.