I love being engaged

Everyone says that being engaged is the pits, which I can understand, I guess. You are stuck between two phases of your life--a terrible limbo in which you fall more in love with a person everyday and would LOVE to be married to them, but aren't. Yet. You have a million decisions to make, some of which involve quite a bit of money. You are trying to negotiate making several parties happy about all of the said decisions, and you are doing this all whilst trying to maintain and build relationships with your fiance and family and friends.

But, all of the drawbacks aside, I absolutely LOVE being engaged. (Wow. I accidentally typed 'married' instead of 'engaged' just then. Freudian? . . . ) I am positively thrilled when I introduce Cute Boy as my fiance. I love telling everyone I know how important he is to me and how excited I am to build a life together. I love making wedding decisions and I love deciding when something for the wedding simply isn't worth worrying about.

And I love being somebody's future wife. Especially because it's Cute Boy. I love him and I'm just ecstatic that in a little under 8 weeks he will be my husband. Is there anything better?

(P.S. I will answer my own question here. Yes, there is something better. Being married! ;-)

wedding, wedding, wedding

I'm getting married, did you hear?!

I have the sparkly proof on my finger.

The day is February 19, 2011. What a great day.

In the meantime, there's lots still to do! I don't know how girls plan weddings while they are working or in school. For example, today I got a bracelet and some little thingys to go in my hair. Still need to find shoes to wear (looking for 1-2" beige or tan heels, any ideas?). Still need to figure out the make-up situation... (Dan? Sephora? You and me?) Still need to gather addresses and figure out how we are doing invitations (this is a priority). Still need to find a photographer, although we have a few good leads. (This is also a priority). Still need to schedule other stuff (like when to take pictures) and when to go apartment shopping. Still need to answer the question, "To have a car, or not to have a car?" A few reception details to plan out . . . etc. etc. (What are we going to eat? Should we have the silly ribbons on the chairs? Would it look silly?) Still need to learn about and order a cake from someone or somewhere.

Man, it's totally do-able, but takes work and prioritization. And keeping your eyes on the things that are most pressing, the soonest. For example, right now, making a decision about announcements and picking a photographer are deadlines that are coming up PRONTO. I have to make sure not to spend too much time looking for shoes (it's SO much fun to look for shoes! . . . but I guess it can wait . . . ) or looking for a get-away dress (again, very fun. But in a pinch, if I run out of time, I can wear some stuff I already own) instead of focusing on the things that really have the longest lead times.

When all is said and done, I will still be married and none of this will matter anymore! And that is the GREAT news!

Finals week, winding down

1. I painted my nails red. They are supposed to be red for Christmas, but they ended up a deep beautiful red. Red like blood. They are so fun! I love looking at them and typing with them and picking things up with them.

2. My finals week is pretty anti-climactic. I only had four finals to begin with, two are already done, and I can probably get another one mostly done during work tonight. My brain graduated weeks ago and I'm in the process of purging the classes for which I have already completed the final.

3. Having a wonderful job in which you get to work on homework is AWESOME . . . until you don't have homework to work on. Then it becomes very boring. Luckily I have a long "to do" list, but I still have to occasionally remind myself not to waste my life mindlessly surfing the Internet.

4. In celebration of a relaxed finals week, I started a new book. "Spoken from the Heart" by Laura Bush. I've mentioned before that I really enjoy biographies and this is no exception. I find her life fascinating. And I also very much enjoy reading the biographies of great women who married great men. Because, I have a suspicion that I will be married to a great man and I want to know what to do.

5. Speaking of said great man, I am patiently (and by patiently, I mean anxiously. And by anxiously, I mean really really anxiously.) waiting for him to, I don't know, make things official by putting a pretty, sparkly thing on my red, blood hands.

Man, my hands would look SO good . . .

Dear life

Dear Life,

I know you enjoy watching me squirm, but would you mind not being so unpredictable?

You know how I love to plan, how I love to have a pretty solid idea of where I will be in six months, and how I love, love, love to spend time developing things that I know will turn out to be a good investment?

Up to this point in my life, I have done a superb job of planning my existence. Don't you think? I planned out my major, I planned out internships, I planned out a study abroad, I balanced this all with jobs and relationships (which I also, sometimes, planned out). I did this to maximize my happiness and minimize the anxiety that comes from rampant uncertainty. And I think I have done a pretty good job so far.

Life, why won't you let me do the same now? Would you please settle down so that I can emotionally invest in a future? I don't want to become too fixated on a single idea, only to have it changed tomorrow.

It's hard for my heart.

Thank you.

Best,

Lynne